Dirty Little Secret
by The Untouchable Young
Summary: It started on a rainy summer day. It being the day he betrayed Logan in the worst way possible. "My dirty little secret. Who has to know? When we live such fragile lives, it's the best way we survive." Miss. LaurenNicole's challenge. NO SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

Hola!

This story is based off Ms. LaurenNicole's challenge

"Study my icon. Think about the many ways this girl is in Kendall's arm. The reality of things.

Who is the little girl? Where did she come from?"

By the way, this will be a multi-chapter fiction. I don't know how long. Maybe three or thirteen. We'll see. It depends on how much time I have.

*This is a Future Fiction

Warning: Not many, but there are flashbacks (in _italics_) and swearing.

* * *

><p>Kendall sighed as he stepped through the front door of the apartment complex. It had been a grueling day at Rocque Records filled with harmonies, dancing, and recording new tracks.<p>

"Hard day Knight?" A voice asked from the front desk. Kendall turned his head slightly, his emerald green eyes focusing the gaze on a petite brunette. Jennifer. After the Jennifer's had split up, brunette Jennifer, or Jen as she preferred to be called now, had taken over the Palmwoods.

Kendall sighed once again, "You can say that." Jennifer smiled in sympathy, knowing how cruel Gustavo Rocque could be.

Kendall slowly trudged his way towards the elevator, focusing on how tired he was and how he missed the warm sensation of his bed, missing the scent of_ her_, how he couldn't wait to hear _her _laugh, and to hear the sounds of small giggles. A small smile spread crossed his lips.

The small '_BING!_' brought Kendall out of his thoughts. His feet shuffled into the elevator, pressing the fading button '6' absentmindedly.

A few moments had passed before the '_BING!_' had sounded again. Kendall would have sprinted out the door, if he weren't so tired.

Shuffling outside the elevator, and into the hall, he made his way towards apartment 6J. As he approached the wooden door, he jabbed his hand into his pocket, fiddling around, searching for his keys. He took the miniscule brass object out and injected it into the lock, the sound of a click and turning brightening his mood.

Home at last.

As he shut the front door he heard a loud, joyous shrill, "Daddy!"

Music to his ears.

He grinned, kneeling down and grabbing the mess of brown curls wearing pink Sleeping Beauty pajamas in his arms, twirling her around in circles.

"Daddy!" She giggled.

A few spins after, he stopped, resting her in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder. "How you doing princess?" He asked, laying a kiss on top of her head.

"Good. Mommy and I pwayed all day." She yawned.

"All day? You must be tired."

"Just a wittle." She yawned again.

"Or a lot." A musical voice chimed. Kendall turned slightly, watching Camille make his way over to him, a sweet smile gracing her features.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hey yourself." She whispered back giving him a slight kiss on the cheek. She then turned to look out her daughter resting in her father's arms. "Rylee, it's time to go to sleep."

"I don't wanna." She whined.

"Come on Ryles. Tomorrow you and I can play all day."

"Promise?" She yawned.

"I promise."

"Okay." She reached out for Camille, her eyes drooping.

Camille walked over to her room, tucking her in, while Kendall took a seat on the couch, relaxing against the softness. A few moments later, Camille joined him.

Laying her head on his shoulder, she asked. "How is it? Without him I mean?"

He sighed. "It's not the same."

"I figured. We knew what we were getting ourselves into."

"I know. Sometimes I wonder if things could have worked out better though."

"I do too." She simply said.

"Love?" Kendall asked.

"Hmm?" She replied her eyes fluttering closed.

"Do you regret us? For falling in love with me?" He asked hesitantly.

Her eyes snapped open, and Camille abruptly stood up, turning towards him, eyes flashing with anger, matching the tone of her voice. "How dare you say that Kendall Knight! I can't believe you would think that I do! I love you Kendall Knight and I don't regret my decision one bit! I may have lost a friend, but I gained so much more in the end. Do you regret it?"

Kendall was having mixed feelings about this reaction. He had been expecting something like this, but at the same time, he felt angered that she thought he regretted falling for her. "I never regretted my decision Camille, why would I? Now calm down or you'll wake up Rylee."

"Then why did you ask?" She whispered miserably, her big chocolate brown eyes filling with tears. It broke Kendall's heart in two, and he immediately wanted to curse himself for making her cry.

"Oh love." He whispered and walked over to her, hugging her and cradling her in his arms. She rested her head on his chest, feeling the warmth and the thumping of his heartbeat. He waited a bit before continuing. "I wanted to know that you didn't regret this. Rylee, delaying your career, losing a friend, just for me. I made you give up so much."

She looked up at him, her eyes slightly puffy and mascara smudged. To Kendall, she looked beautiful. "Never. It would have happened anyways. This connection between us. It would have been delayed, but it would have happened eventually."

Kendall looked down at her, a smile breaking on to his features. "You're that sure about us?"

She nodded, a smile gracing her sweet lips. "Absolutely. I love you. Always have and I always will."

Kendall stood there, just gazing at her admiringly. "What?" She asked shyly.

"How did I get so lucky? Miss. Camille Knight I am uncontrollably and inevitably in love with you." And with that he dove down, placing a sweet kiss on her lips. She tasted like vanilla and he tasted like coffee. A perfect combination. Just like them.

Camille broke the kiss, much to Kendall's dismay. "Let's get to sleep. You have a long day tomorrow."

A confused expression wiped upon Kendall's face. "I have the day off tomorrow. I'm spending it with Rylee remember?"

"Taking care of Rylee is a long day no matter how adorable she is."

He chuckled. "So true. I'll meet up with you later."

"Okay." She said, and then, leaving a kiss on his cheek, she took off in the other direction towards their room, leaving Kendall alone to his thoughts.

He turned towards the bookshelf, smiling to himself as he saw the various pictures of Camille and Rylee in the park. Rylee by herself on the beach building a sand castle. Rylee with him, as he was giving her a piggyback ride. Gustavo and Kelly sticking their tongues out at one another. James and Katie laughing at each other. His mom and Carlos with arms around one another. One of James, Carlos and him at a concert. One of him and Camille on their wedding day. Each picture brought back joyous memories making his smile grow bigger as he passed each one.

Until he reached the dreadful one.

A picture of Logan and him, arms around another, smiling into the camera.

He sighed. Things were so good back then, when everything was simple, and there was no drama.

When he didn't screw everything up.

Much to his displeasure, flashbacks started hurling towards him, one after another; remind him of all he had done wrong to Logan.

It all started on a rainy summer day.

* * *

><p><em>Kendall was running through Palmwoods Park. Tears filling his eyes to the brim.<em>

_He knew it, he knew it, he had fucking knew it. And he had chose to ignore it, believing into the little lies he told himself about how Jo would never do that._

_Jo had been cheating on him all along with Jett Stetson._

_And there wasn't one ounce of guilt in her body._

_He started to run faster as images of Jett's smirk plagued his mind._

_At the sound of sniffling, he stopped in a sudden haste, skidding to a halt._

_There on a bench, was Camille, sobbing with mascara running down her face, soaking wet from the rain._

_Kendall walked towards her. At that moment it didn't matter that he was wet, or that Jo cheated on him, or Jett's smirk, or how the guys are worrying about him, or how his mom would yell at him for staying in the rain to long as soon as he got home, or that he was breaking curfew._

_All that mattered was her._

And from there midnight meetings at the pool or at the park, lunch dates, texting at night, breaking curfew to see each other, practicing lines, going to parties with each other, and telling each other secrets had followed.

Kendall always thought of her as a friend. That is, until Logan claimed her his again.

_Months had passed since that rainy summer day. Kendall and Camille had grown closer and stronger over the months. Everyone knew about their close to best friend relationship. To Kendall, Camille could be considered like one of the guys in their group. Although, he never said that aloud. He and Camille were close, but their bond wasn't like what he, James, Carlos and Logan had._

_It was dinner at 2J. Being Fish stick Friday meant no one skipped out on this dinner. It was tradition._

_Kendall was sitting at the table, daydreaming away, while James and Carlos were arguing about which was better, dinosaurs or wizards. Katie was playing online poker and Mrs. Knight was at the gym._

_They were waiting patiently for the fish sticks to be done in the oven, and waiting for Logan to come back. _

_Logan entered 2J with a smirk on his face and a confident air surrounding him. Everyone noticed the difference._

"_Why are you so happy?" Katie asked looking up from her computer._

_Logan replied while taking a seat at the table. "Camille and I got back together. We're official."_

_James and Carlos snorted_ _simultaneously. "Took you long enough." James said._

"_Congrats buddy!" Carlos said joyfully slapping Logan on the back before going back to his argument with James. Dinosaurs were obviously better. Duh._

_Kendall on the other hand was not as gleeful. "When?" he asked quietly._

"_This morning. We spent the whole day together."_

_Why didn't Camille mention this? He was texting her seven minutes ago!_

_Feeling nauseous and betrayed, Kendall stood up. "I think I'm going to skip dinner tonight you guys. I feel sick."_

_Logan's doctor instincts kicked in immediately. "Do you have a fever? Are you sneezing? How long have you felt this way?" He asked rapidly. He reached out to feel Kendall's forehead, until Kendall smacked it away._

"_I'm fine." He said coldly._

_Shock and awkward tension filled the room._

"_O-okay." Logan said sadly. He felt and looked like a lost puppy._

_Kendall instantaneously felt the guilt kick in. "I'm sorry Logan. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just tired. I'll feel fine in the morning. But if I do have something I don't want you to get sick too."_

_Logan's expression cleared up instantly. "Okay! But make sure you rest!"_

_Kendall simply smiled and nodded, making his way towards the bedroom him and Logan shared._

_Closing the door gently, he took his phone out and texted Camille._

_**K: Meeting in the park?**_

_She texted back instantly._

_**C: Sure! Meet you in five! 8D**_

_Stuffing his pillows in his bed to make it look like he was sleeping, he grabbed the rope ladder him and the guys used to sneak out. Walking his way towards the window, he opened it slowly, making sure it didn't squeak, and dropped the ladder, climbing his way down it._

_Sprinting towards the park, he took a seat at their bench._

_Yes __**their**__ bench._

_Camille came around twenty seconds later and took a seat by him._

"_Why are you all red?" She asked._

"_Oh you know, just a little angry about you not telling me that you got back together with Logan!" He snapped._

_She smiled sheepishly. "You found out huh?"_

"_Yeah I did." He said harshly._

_This time it was Camille's turn to get angry. "What do you want from me Kendall?" she asked viciously._

_He stood up and threw his hands in the air. "I don't know all right! Wait! That's a lie! I do know! Break up with Logan!"_

_She stood up and walked towards him, stopping only inches away. "What? Why the fuck would I do that?"_

_Kendall sighed angrily. "Cause if you don't. I can't do this!" And with that he smashed his lips against hers. She tasted like vanilla, and he gathered as much of her taste with his tongue as he could. He didn't care if their teeth were clashing or if someone could see them, all he needed was her. Camille found herself melting into the kiss, pulling him closer and wrapping her arms around his neck. The kiss broke when they needed more air, both were panting for their lives._

_Camille was the first to speak. "Um I'll see you tomorrow!" She squeaked and took off at full speed, leaving Kendall alone._

_Kendall groaned. "Fuck. What have I done?"_

_With that, he made his way towards the ladder, and climbed up again. He strolled toward his bed and laid down on the plush blanket._

_A small knock rapped on the door. "Come in!" he said._

_Katie entered. Closing the door, she leaned against it, crossing her arms and stating. "I know you were out with Camille."_

_Kendall saw no point in arguing. "And?"_

"_What happened?"_

_He decided to get straight to the point. "We argued and then I kissed her."_

_Katie's eyes visibly widened. "Whoa."_

"_I know!" Kendall groaned._

"_So what are you going to do now?"_

"_Pretend that it never happened."_

"_What?" She whisper-yelled. "Are you nuts?"_

"_What do you mean?" He asked facing towards her._

"_Do you want to forget that kiss?" Katie asked._

_Kendall bit his lip. "No. It was the most amazing kiss in the world."_

"_So you can't ignore it!" She stated obviously._

"_The what?" He asked._

"_You got to tell her how you feel."_

"_She's with Logan." He reminded her. A small pause passed until he said. "Besides I don't really like her. It was more of a spur of the moment thing."_

_Katie rolled her eyes. "Spur of the moment huh?"_

"_Yes." Kendall said determined._

"_That's why you kissed her." She said doubtfully. "You know and I both know what the real reason is."_

"_What?" he asked._

"_You're in love with her." Katie stated simply._

_Kendall's mouth dropped open. He tried closing his mouth but it wouldn't work. He looked like a fish needing water. He tried to say he didn't love Camille, but the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't deny it._

_The silence gave Katie the answer she needed. "Told you so."_

_It's always a sad day for a big brother when his little sister tells him 'I told you so'._

_Nevertheless, it was true._

_Kendall Knight was uncontrollably and inevitably in love with Camille Roberts._

_He told her the next day. And she said the same thing. It seemed perfect._

_It would have been, if it weren't for one obstacle. Logan._

_They didn't want to hurt him, so they agreed for now, that they would keep their affair a secret._

_Their secret meetings were filled with hugs, kisses, cuddling, and whispering sweet things to one another. Lunch dates, texting at night, breaking curfew to see each other, practicing lines, going to parties with each other, and telling each other secrets seemed so much more intimate._

_It was perfect. And no one knew. A complete secret._

_And it stayed that way. For a while at least. One whole year even. However, as they say. All good things must come to an end._

_And it did._

* * *

><p>Kendall sighed and walked his way towards the bathroom. Turning the faucet on, he splashed his face with cold water. His face was a bit clammy and he was pale. He groaned. Thinking of Logan always did this to him.<p>

After changing, and getting ready for bed, he climbed in with his wife. Her curls were covering the pillow, a small smile on her lips. She looked adorable. He gently kissed her forehead before turning off the lights.

He laid on the bed, but sleep wouldn't come to him. All his thoughts were on Logan.

Logan, Logan. Logan.

Logan plagued his mind.

Kendall willed sleep to come, but alas, it never did.

He closed his eyes softly, hoping he would fall adrift to dreamland eventually, but instead another series of memories hit him. All about Logan.

Kendall groaned. This was never going to stop. He wasn't going to get any sleep this way.

He made his way towards the couch, picking up the frame with the picture of Logan and him on the way. Taking a spot on the couch, he stared at the picture long and hard before setting it down on the coffee table. One thought came to mind right there and then.

_I'm so sorry Logan. I'm so sorry._


	2. Chapter 2

Second Chapter of _**Dirty Little Secret**_

Thanks for the reviews and favorite story/story alerts.

This story is based off Ms. LaurenNicole's challenge

"Study my icon. Think about the many ways this girl is in Kendall's arm. The reality of things.

Who is the little girl? Where did she come from?"

Warning: *This is a Future Fiction and there are flashbacks (in _italics_) and swearing, and a bit of '_suggested themes_'.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. No matter how bad I want it.

*And I do not encourage nor discourage under age sex, drinking, or drugs. It's your decision.

I personally don't support it, but let's be honest. Are teens ever going to stop? Now be realistic and think about it. The fact is, in life not everything is happy-go-lucky. So, the point is, it's your choice, and your decision is yours and yours only. Just be ready to face the consequences, good and bad.*

And this my readers, is a whole flashback. The entire chapter. The next chapter will most likely have this flashback continued onto it halfway through. And then another one in the ending.

This story will be five to ten chapters.

Onwards!

* * *

><p><em>It was their anniversary, and Kendall had planned to make it special. Being memorial weekend, they had driven down to Malibu. He made sure to make everything perfect. He <em>_scrutinize__d every detail, down to what he was going to wear, the hotel, a small picnic on the beach, walking along the shore at sunset, laying down on a soft blanket and watching the night stars._

_It was romantic. It was magical. It was perfect._

_He dipped his head to give her a small but passionate kiss on the lips. And slowly the kiss became more passionate, and more longing._

_It was as if they couldn't get enough of each other._

_She was his oxygen and if Kendall pulled away from her, he would suffocate._

_His body, soul, and heart ached for her._

_Kendall's mind was only registering one thing._

_Camille, Camille, Camille._

_He needed her._

_They slowly pulled away gasping for air._

_But Kendall still needed her._

"_Please Kendall. Please." She begged against his lips. He was skeptical at first, but he couldn't deny her. She was his princess. He nodded vigorously and roughly pulled her closer to him._

_Lips attacking hers sloppily and passionately, teeth clashing but not caring. She gasped at his abruptness, allowing his tongue to slip in. Their tongues clashed and battled, fighting for dominance, in which Kendall easily won._

_Kendall pulled away slightly, "Are you sure you want this. We could always stop." His lips brushed hers as he spoke softly and gently. _

_She shook her head, "I want this. Right now. Please don't stop." She whimpered, practically begging._

_His lips attacked hers once again. He softly pushed her against the beach blanket._

* * *

><p><em>They had done it. Sex, fucked, made love. Whatever you want to call it. All they knew was it was bliss.<em>

_A month passed from that night. And they had spent the night looking at the stars again. It was a romantic date. But Camille had been distant, almost nervous._

_Kendall was too._

_He was going to ask her to marry him._

_They were eighteen. They were legal. And they were in love. Why not?_

_Right before he was going to ask, she interrupted him. Panic filled him. Did she not love him? Did she want Logan now? He couldn't live if he saw her with another guy._

_Camille breathed slowly. "Kendall. I'm pregnant."_

_All the silly little thoughts of her not loving him flew out the window as he heard that. She started bawling as he took her in his arms._

"_I'll always be here for you. We'll get through this. Together."_

"_Promise?" She hiccupped._

"_I promise."_

_They fell asleep in that position, holding on to each other as if it were the end._

* * *

><p><em>As dawn came and the blinding white light from the sun erupted Kendall woke. He felt something heavy on his chest. Looking down he realized it was Camille completely dead to the world. Her brown curls were a mess, her makeup was smudged and her lips were in a small 'o'.<em>

_Kendall bit his lip. He didn't want to wake her, but they needed to get upstairs and face the music._

_There wasn't any way they could keep this from Logan._

_A small groan shook Kendall out of his thought process. Camille was shifting out of her slumber._

_He chuckled. "Morning sleeping beauty."_

"_Ugh. It's too early for sun." She groaned, throwing an arm in front of her eyes._

"_Well aren't you just a ball of sunshine."_

_Camille sighed. "As much as I want to stay down here with you and just escape from the world, I know we can't."_

"_We have to face the music sometime." He agreed. He stood up and then __yanked Camille up with him._

"_I'll meet you in 2J. I want to shower." She said._

_Kendall nodded and took off towards the Palmwoods, hoping not to get caught from Katie, the guys or his mom._

_Unfortunately, luck wasn't on his side this morning._

_He entered the apartment as stealthily as he could but a certain someone was waiting for him._

"_Where the hell have you been?" James asked with a peeved expression._

"_Out?"_

"_Obviously." James snorted, "But really. Where the fuck where you. You're lucky I covered your ass when Mama Knight tried to come in to check up on you."_

_He sighed. "I'm sorry. I was with Camille."_

_James' face twisted into an expression of anger. "Dude! Logan! Remember!"_

"_Dude I know!" He mocked. "I was comforting her."_

_James looked unconvinced. "Uh huh sure. I'm taking a shower. Mama K is down in the gym, and the guys and Katie are sleeping."_

_Kendall simply nodded. When James turned around to go to the shower was when Kendall noticed the difference on James' face. "Dude what's the green shit on your face?"_

_James turned and glared at Kendall. "It's not shit, it's a rejuvenating mask. It's supposed to make your skin younger dickwad."_

_Kendall merely rolled his eyes when James huffed and walked towards the bathroom. Deciding to take a shower himself, he walked over to his mother's room._

_After ten minutes or so he got out, wrapping a towel around his waist._

_When he walked out he saw an unusual sight in front of him._

_Carlos without his helmet._

_Reading._

_Physics._

_AP Physics._

_The hell?_

"_Carlos . . ." He dragged out slowly. Carlos looked up, an expression of wonder on his face._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Reading?" Carlos shrugged._

"_AP Physics?"_

"_Logan said this was light reading."_

_Kendall quirked an eyebrow and was about to say something, until he decided it was better not to get into it. He made his way towards his room and locked the door._

_Changing into his black flannel shirt and dark skinny jeans he walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast._

_There Logan was eating a bowl of cereal, James was still in the shower, Katie was a zombie, and Carlos was still reading._

_Taking a seat on the barstool he grabbed a banana and started peeling._

"_Where were you Kendall?" Logan asked._

_Everyone looked up, curious to hear his response._

"_Camille texted me. Saying she wanted to talk." Kendall responded, putting the banana down._

_Logan looked irritated with this. "Why couldn't she ask me?"_

_Just then, James entered into the kitchen, fully clothed and his shaggy hair wet. Sensing the awkward tension, he turned towards Kendall and raised an eyebrow, hoping to catch up on what was going on. Kendall shrugged, looking down at his banana. Logan was about to respond until a small rapping on the door interrupted him. Seeing as no one else was going to get it, Logan got up to answer the door._

_There Camille stood wearing shorts, a blue boyfriend style shirt with a black tank underneath and small flip flops, with her hair held up._

"_Can I come in?" She asked timidly._

"_Sure." Logan gestured towards the living room._

_She went straight to the couch, putting her head in her hands when she sat._

_All of a sudden, Kendall didn't care for his appetite anymore. All he wanted to do was comfort her, and hold her in his arms whispering in her ear that everything will be alright._

"_You guys, can you come over here." Camille said in a low voice._

_All of them (Except Kendall) shared confused looks before walking over and taking a seat on the couch._

_Carlos was the first to speak. "What's going on?"_

_Camille opened her mouth, and then snapped it shut before taking in a deep breath. Her bottom lip was quivering and her chocolate brown eyes were forming tears. It broke Kendall's heart in two seeing her so upset and broken. She wiped a few tears and took in a shaky breath. "I'm pregnant."_

_A silence took over the usually rambunctious apartment. Looks of shocks went through everyone. James' eyes widened, Carlos was gaping like a fish, Katie was now alive, Logan was getting pink and Kendall? He just sat there, embracing the silence, knowing it wouldn't last for long. Logan was the first to snap out of the haze._

"_What the fuck? We've never done anything!"_

_Carlos gasped, covering Katie's ears with his hands. Logan never swore, unless it was hockey, then he had a sailor's mouth._

_James snorted. "I'm pretty sure that's how babies are made Logan." He then paused, a look of intense pondering masking his features. "Maybe you were drunk. Or high. Or both."_

_Logan shook his head in denial. "No, I'm positive." Kendall had stayed silent during this whole conversation until Kendall had decided to speak out._

"_No he's right. They didn't."_

_Logan was puzzled. "How do you know?"_

_Kendall took a deep breath. _

_Camille looked up, a soft smile growing on her lips. She was proud of Kendall. It wasn't easy telling your friend you betrayed him. She always loved that about Kendall, he was always honest, no matter what. She knew it wasn't easy, and it won't be easy in the future with a new baby or with a livid friend, but she knew, deep down in her heart they would be okay somehow._

_It was time._

_Time to face the music._

_Kendall took a deep breath before continuing. "I know because Camille told me."_

_Logan raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Is that it?" He asked._

_Kendall glared. "No, that's not it!" He paused before going on. "It's my child she's carrying." He whispered looking down at his feet._

"_What?" Logan asked. "I can't hear you."_

_Kendall took a breath in and looked Logan in the eye, readying himself for the tears, yells, and punches that were about to come. "It's my baby."_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of _**Dirty Little Secret**_!

This chapter is dedicated to three people; Werewolvesrule5, FeralFairy, and BigTimeFan50! Your reviews and support have made my day!

Thanks for the reviews and favorite story/story alerts.

Based off Ms. LaurenNicole's challenge

"Study my icon. Think about the many ways this girl is in Kendall's arm. The reality of things.

Who is the little girl? Where did she come from?"

Rating: PG

Warning: *This is a Future Fiction and there are flashbacks (in _italics_) and swearing, and a bit of '_suggested themes_'.

Pairings: Camille/Kendall hints of Logan/Camille

A/N: I tried to put in perspective of how Logan felt when he found out. Don't know how it turned out. In addition, I put in some Kenmille/Kamille (Is that the shipping? I don't know.) Love in here. It's actually super cute :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. No matter how bad I want it.

Onwards!

* * *

><p><em>An unusual silence had taken over the apartment 2J. Kendall bit his lip. Why wasn't Logan freaking out?<em>

_Carlos was gaping like a fish, James was a frozen statue, and Katie's eyes were as big as a deer caught in headlights._

_Logan . . . was silent. He was relatively calm._

_Well he was, until he attacked Kendall, pinning him to the floor._

"_How could you!" Logan screamed. Tears were spilling out, and his voice was hoarse._

"_Logan . . . " Kendall's voice faltered._

"_NO! I can't believe you! You were my best friend. And you betrayed me!" He sobbed. It was a tiny pathetic noise. Barely audible. _

_Kendall winced. He couldn't believe he caused this much pain for Logan._

_Logan lifted him only to pound him back into the floor._

"_Logan! Calm down!" Carlos pleaded._

_Logan turned. His expression was livid, eyes bloodshot from tears and anger. "How can I?"_

_He then turned back to Kendall, taking one disgusted look at him before dropping him. Logan jumped up, wiping at his tears quickly with his sleeve. He took one look at all of them before calmly walking out._

_Kendall was heartbroken. He expected tears and punches, not walking out. This was such a Logan like response, but it was worse. He rather have Logan yelling at him and punching him than have Logan walk out as if nothing happened._

_Because when Logan yelled at him, he at least knew there was emotion behind it. Emotion meant forgiveness. Not right away, but eventually forgiveness would come._

_When Logan ran out, it meant he didn't care anymore._

_Meaning Kendall could never earn his forgiveness or his friendship back._

"_Damn It." He whispered._

"_Why?" A voice asked._

_Kendall looks up from his spot on the floor. James._

"_Why?" he repeats._

"_Is there any reason for love?" Kendall whispered._

_James sighs, taking a seat next to Kendall. Carlos follows his lead, taking a seat on the other side of Kendall._

"_I would be pissed off at you right now," James states bluntly._

"_Then why aren't you?"_

"_Because it's love. You can tell by a simple glance. It's in your eyes."_

_Kendall sighs, "I screwed up you guys."_

"_No shit Sherlock." Carlos snorts._

"_So how do I fix it?"_

_James and Carlos shared a small glance before James whispers, "I don't think you can."_

* * *

><p><em>A week passed. As soon as Mrs. Knight came in, Kendall caved. She was disappointed, but regardless she accepted it. It's not like they could do anything about it.<em>

_Gustavo on the other hand wasn't as lenient on the situation. This would ruin their image. Until Kelly suggested he marry Camille._

"_It's simple. Kendall and Camille get married. It won't be a big deal if they're eighteen and married. Besides, girls love the thought of going after something they can't have."_

_It was a simple enough solution._

* * *

><p><em>Camille wasn't showing, but she was vomiting left and right. It seems like she couldn't eat anything without upchucking it. She said it was normal, but Kendall couldn't help but worry about her. And feel sorry. Here she was giving up her body, career, and comfort. All for their child. It bought a smile to his lips, thinking about their small life they created.<em>

_Her first appointment was on June 21__st__. Monitoring the pregnancy went without a glitch. They gave her a few pre-natal vitamins, and told her what she should expect, what she could and couldn't do (Kendall paid extra attention to what she couldn't do) and the different selections of reading available. _

_Overall, easy breezy._

* * *

><p><em>Two weeks had passed before Kendall decided to pop the question. He took her back to the beach where they lost their virginities. They walked along the shore, shoes lost in the sand, pinkies connected. Kendall managed a quick glance at her. The sun was setting, casting an orange glow around her. Her hair was in waves with a small daisy tucked behind her ear. She had a glow about her, and she smiling, her eyes bright with happiness.<em>

_Her beauty always hypnotized Kendall._

_Kendall took a deep breath in before sticking his hand in his pocket. He fumbled around for the small object. After a few moments, his long fingers grasped the miniscule item. He let go the ring go and took his hand out of his pocket. He took another deep breath._

_It was now or never._

_He stopped walking, making Camille turn towards him, confusion written on her face._

"_I told you I loved you right?" He asked._

_She took a few steps towards him, slipping her arms around his neck. "Of course."_

_He rested his hands are her narrow hips. "I meant it."_

"_Mhmmm."_

"_I do! I'll scream it to the whole world. 'I love Camille Roberts!" He exclaimed._

_She chuckled. "Go ahead then."_

_He leaned down giving a slight kiss on her temple before whispering in her ear. "I love Camille Roberts."_

"_I thought you said the world." She teased._

"_You're my world." He whispered._

_She smiled goofily. "You're so cheesy."_

"_You know you love it."_

_She giggled. "I remember you asked me why I had waterproof mascara."_

"_You told me so if you cried; it wouldn't get ruined and run down your face."_

"_And then you chucked it into the trash."_

"_You asked why."_

_She smiles even bigger (If that's even possible) at the next part. "You told me that as long as I was with you, you would never make me cry. That you rather die before you made me cry."_

"_I haven't broken that promise have I?" He asked._

_She giggled once more. "No you didn't."_

"_Good." He paused before continuing, "I've always said how I could never describe why I loved you."_

"_Right?" She said not knowing where he was going with this._

"_I'm going to try and list some of the reasons why."_

"_Some?" She quirked an eyebrow._

"_It would take too long to list them all."_

_She smiled before nodding, signaling him to start._

"_I can be myself when I'm with you. You love me with all my faults. When I'm grumpy, you never complain, You're never boring, You never make fun of my ideas or dreams, I can tell you anything and you won't be shocked, We can talk about anything or nothing- it doesn't matter to you." _

_Kendall took a breath before continuing, "You inspire me to become a better person, when I want to give up you push me forward. You're always behind my back to catch me when I fall. When you hold me tight, everything becomes all right. You always seem to know when something isn't right; you bring a smile to my face. You're by my side. You never intimidate me. When I'm with you, nothing else matters. A smile from you chases away all the blues. With you I feel, as if in a single lifetime, I have known the joy of a thousand years. I love you because you bring out the best in me. In the story of my life, the best chapters are filled with you. Every time I look at you, my heart misses a beat. I can see my dreams come true in the ocean of your eyes. Just a touch...and I lose my heart all over again. You're always on my mind. I just can't do without you. You've seen me at my worst and you still love me."_

_He smiles as he carries on. "You excite me, delight me, ignite me. You know all my secrets...and keep them. I love how complete I feel when I am with you. I love your ability to speak without saying a single word. I love the way you let me live my life freely without jealousy. I love how you would do anything in this world to make me happy. I love the way, how even though we may be miles apart I still feel like you're right here with me. I love the way you protect and defend me. I love laying in bed at night talking about nothing. I love your ability to make friends wherever we go. I love how every time I look at you, you take my breath away. I love the fact you're giving me the gift of our child."_

_Kendall sees that tears are threatening to spill over. He quickly wipes them away, smiling softly as he does so. He then rests his hands once more on her hips. "I love if I died right now I would be the happiest person alive knowing I found my one true love. I love the way you think you look awful when you first wake up when it is actually then I find you the most beautiful. I love the way you look when you are sleeping. I love your willingness to share everything and most especially your heart with me. I love your smile, laugh, honesty, strength, kindness, devotion, generosity, courage, optimism, confidence, gentleness, zaniness, intelligence, your love for music, your humor, how forgiving you are, how you're a dreamer like me, how you never take life for granted I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you. There are endless reasons why I love you but the most important is...darling, knowing you is loving you."_

_Camille's crying by the time he finishes. She attacks his lips, giving him a passionate kiss. They breakaway eventually._

"_Thank you." She whispers. She has a small on her lips, and her eyes are shining._

_He smiles. "It's was easy to name the things I love about you, but also so hard because I had to limit it to just a few reasons when I can think of at least a million reasons why I love you."_

_As Kendall kneels on his knee, Camille gasps, trying to muffle the sound by covering her mouth with her hand._

_Kendall takes a deep breath. "Camille Denise Roberts, will you do the honor of making me the happiest man on Earth by becoming my wife?"_

"_Yes." She whispers nodding._

_He grins and jumps up, taking her petite hand and slipping the ring on. He gives her knuckles a gentle kiss before picking her up bridal style, walking along the shore. She giggles and lays her head on his chest._

"_I love you." She whispers._

"_I love you too Princess."_

"_Princess? Well Prince Charming are we going to have a happily ever after?" She giggles._

_He grins down on her. "Of course. We're walking off into the sunset aren't we?"_

_She giggles once more. She sits up a bit, and sticks out her left hand and admires the ring. "It's beautiful Kendall." She whispers._

"_It was my mother's. Before my dad died he said that when I meet the girl of my dreams that I want to spend forever use this ring and pass it on to our kids so the tradition keeps going." _

_She smiles, and lays her head back on his chest. They walk off into the sunset, a comfortable silence following. The only sounds are the waves crashing onto the shore and seagulls flying high above them. _

_Kendall remembers that he forgot to add something. "Camille?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Thank you. For making me the luckiest man on Earth."_

"_Thank you for making me feel like a princess."_

_Camille was the Princess and Kendall was her Prince Charming. They would live happily ever after. She knew that somehow, it would all end well. _

_Well . . . most of it._

_They still had to deal with Logan after all._


	4. Chapter 4

Fourth Chapter of _**Dirty Little Secret**_!

I feel extremely stupid right now. Werewolvesrule5, I knew I recognized you from somewhere! I _**love**_ your story _Unexpected Love_!

**READ** her story. Its genius and a work of art. Literally, you will not be disappointed. It's one of my favorite Kogan stories.

Werewolvesrule5- I'm **honored** that you like my story and review it. It makes my day.

And to everyone else who reads my story, thank you. It brightens up my mood seeing the reviews/favorite story/story alerts. Seriously, I grin like an idiot :D

* * *

><p>Story based off Ms. LaurenNicole's challenge<p>

"Study my icon. Think about the many ways this girl is in Kendall's arm. The reality of things.

Who is the little girl? Where did she come from?"

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Jo/Logan hints of Camille/Kendall, Jo/Kendall, Brunette Jennifer/Carlos and Camille/Logan

Warning: *This is a Future Fiction and there are flashbacks (in _italics_) and swearing, and a bit of '_suggested themes_'.

A/N: For all those who begged, and there were a lot, I put in- LOGIE ANGST! . . . (Kind of) :P

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. No matter how bad I want it.

* * *

><p><em>A few more weeks passed and it was now July 19, meaning Camille was nine weeks. The pregnancy was kept a secret, but Kendall figured it wouldn't be long until the word got out.<em>

_Kendall, Carlos, James, and Logan were spending the day by the pool. Although, none of them were talking to one another. Even if they weren't as close as they used to be, they could at least __pretend__ they were, for the sake of their careers anyway._

_It was relatively noisy, the sounds of kids laughing and screaming filling the air. Kendall was soaking in the warmth of the sun. He felt a light tapping on his shoulder. As he looked up, he saw the three Jennifer's. He quirked an eyebrow and sat up. What did they want with him?_

"_We heard a rumor." Blonde Jennifer stated bluntly._

_This caught the attention of the other three guys. James whipped off his sunglasses, "What rumor?"_

_It was the curly-haired Jennifer's turn to speak, "That Camille is engaged to Kendall."_

_The three Jennifer's turned to stare at Kendall. He coughed awkwardly at the uncomfortable stare the two Jennifer's were giving him._

"_Camille and I are engaged. Where did you hear that?"_

"_Who cares where we got it from?" Blonde Jennifer snapped. She then turned her gaze towards Logan. "I thought you were dating Camille?"_

_Kendall's breathe hitched. Would Logan tell them?_

_No, apparently not._

_Logan shook his head no, "We broke up ten months ago. We figured if it didn't work then, it wouldn't work now."_

_Blonde Jennifer raised an eyebrow, not completely satisfied. A few moments passed, and she sighed. She wouldn't be getting anything else from them. "Come on girls, let's give Camille our blessing." She then turned and walked off, curly Jennifer trailing right behind her._

_Only Brunette Jennifer remained. Carlos looked up shyly, "Hi Jennifer."_

"_Hi Carlos." She whispered her voice barely audible._

_A split second passed before blonde Jennifer screeched, "Jennifer! Come on!"_

_Jennifer took one more look at Carlos. It was a longing gaze. Her eyes held a mix of emotions. Sadness, betrayal, longing. She sighed, walking off in the opposite direction._

_An awkward silence took place as soon as she left. James stood up. "Well, the trio knows, meaning soon the whole Palmwoods will know."_

_Logan stood, pushed James into the pool, and walked away, not wanting to hear about Camille and Kendall's perfect love life, and how they were going to live happily ever after._

* * *

><p><em>It made him sick when he saw how happy and in love Kendall and Camille were.<em>

_He growled. Why Kendall? Why did he get everything in life? The looks, the girls, the opportunities. Everything went to him._

_Was it his personality, his role as the unidentified leader, the undeniable and irresistible Knight charm?_

_Whatever he had, Logan wanted it._

_For once, just once, he wanted people to be envious of him. To look at him and say 'Damn, I wish I was him'. To have girls want to date him and guys want to be him._

_It was always like this._

_Kendall was the leader, he had the natural charisma, people looked up to him._

_James was the pretty boy, he had the swagger, fashion, and 'The Face'._

_Carlos was, literally, the energizing bunny. He was free spirited, the class clown._

_Logan lacked leadership, he was a follower, not a leader. He lacked swagger and fashion sense (Which should have been obvious considering he worse sweater vests continuously). Logan was serious, he couldn't be the class clown, let go and have a good time, not caring what others think._

_Logan was, in a blunt way to say, a nerd._

_And no one wants the nerd. Or wants to be a nerd._

_Logan started to run, ignoring the yells from Bitters._

_He didn't know where he was going, or care. All he knew was that he had to get out of there._

_Somehow, he ended up on the roof. How he got there, he didn't know. But Logan liked it._

_It was symbolic. When on the roof he was looking down at everyone, not believing his eyes. He felt the same way in reality._

_Logan couldn't believe what he saw in people. Their motives, their personalities, their decisions, their shallowness, disgusted Logan to no end. It was something that he always hated about Hollywood. When you met a person, you could never fully reach them. There was always some interior motive._

_Logan sighed. In the corner of his eye, he spotted a small shed. Deciding to sit for a minute, he made his way towards it and let his legs collapse._

_The silence was nice. Peaceful. It allowed him to think._

_But Logan didn't want to think. He didn't want to think how his best friend, his fucking best friend betrayed him._

_He thought he loved Camille, he really did. Logan thought she could be the one, his soulmate, the one he would spend his life with forever._

_But no, that hope, that dream, was crushed in less than five minutes._

_Damn, how screwed up his life was._

_When Logan first heard Kendall, he thought he was joking. It was an elaborate prank._

_Then he saw the look on Camille's face._

_His heart was crushed into a million pieces right there. It was as if he died a thousand times in this most painful, agonizing, and excruciating was possible._

_Only it hurt more. If that was possible._

_It didn't add up though._

_Logan was logical. It needed to be proven for him to believe it. 'Seeing is believing' after all._

_But it didn't add up. The equation 'Logan + Camille= Happy Life' made sense. 'Kendall + Camille= __uncontrollably and inevitably in love so much that it was sappy, cheesy, and somewhat cute' didn't._

_Obviously, fate didn't agree with Logan and decided to make Kendall and Camille lost soul mates._

_Fuck Fate. Who needs it?_

_It didn't hurt him that Kendall and Camille got together. It should have, but it didn't hit him as hard as he thought it would._

_Logan wasn't sure if that was good or bad._

_What hurt though, was that Kendall never apologized. It was as if he wasn't even sorry that he stole Logan's girlfriend._

_What was even more screwed up was that Logan couldn't even stay mad at them. They were cute with each other, so cute that Logan melted when he saw the love between them._

_How screwed up was that?_

"_What are you doing here?" A feminine voice asked from behind._

_Logan turned his head slightly and smirked when he saw whom it was. Jo. "I could ask you the same thing."_

_She sighed and made her way towards him, plopping right beside him. "I needed to get away. From . . ." She stumbled a bit with her words, not knowing how to put it._

"_Drama, Hollywood, screwed up shit?" Logan offered._

"_All of the above. You too?"_

_He nodded. "I can't take it anymore. The drama, the lies, the shit, Hollywood overall. It's too much to handle."_

_She nodded in understanding, "I know exactly how you feel."_

_He jumped up, anger fueling his words, "That it though! No one does! Everyone thinks they do, but they don't!"_

_It was then that Jo did something completely unexpected._

_She stood up, grabbed his face towards hers, and kissed up._

_Full on kissed him._

_And Logan would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it._

_It was . . . magical. Her lips were soft and moved in a delicate way. She tasted like strawberries._

_Then Logan realized who this was._

_This was Jo. As in Jo, his best friend's ex-girlfriend. He couldn't kiss her. 'Bros before hoes' right?_

_Then Kendall shouldn't have kissed Camille._

_He broke away. "Jo we can't do this."_

"_Why not?"_

_He shook his head, "It's not right. I'm betraying Kendall." Kendall may have betrayed him, but Logan would be the bigger person. He wouldn't do the same thing to him. It wasn't fair to Jo either. He couldn't treat her as a rebound._

_Wait . . . do Jo even know?_

"_You're not betraying Kendall Logan. We broke up two years ago."_

"_It's still not right though," Logan argued. "It's like the guy code. Never go for your best friend's ex."_

_He then muttered, "But obviously Kendall doesn't give a shit about the damn guy code."_

"_What do you mean he doesn't give a shit?" Jo asked._

"_I mean that Kendall and Camille are engaged!" Logan said._

"_What?" She screamed._

_Logan nodded, "They're engaged."_

"_That cheater!" She screamed livid, running towards the stairs._

_Logan ran after her, catching her by the waist. Jo struggled against his grasp "Let me go!"_

"_What are you going to tell Kendall? Hmm? You guys broke up two years ago. Remember?" He reminded her._

_She stopped fidgeting. "You're right. There was always this little voice in the back of my subconscious whispering to me 'He still loves you.'" She whispered. Jo then snorted, "What a lie."_

"_I'm sorry." Logan whispered._

"_What about you though? I thought you were dating Camille?"_

_Logan hesitated. Should he tell her? Probably not, this would ruin their image. "No, we broke up ten months ago." He lied._

"_Oh." She melted against his touch._

_Jo liked it. Logan smelled nice, like laundry detergent. Nice and clean. And he was so warm._

"_Logan?" She asked._

"_Hmm?"_

_Jo turned towards him, bringing her lips towards his, "Kiss me."_

_Logan didn't hesitate one moment. He didn't know what was controlling him. Maybe it was her scent, or the glow about her, or the way her eyes sparkled, or how her lips looked so soft and plump and he wanted to smash his lips against hers and taste her._

_All Logan knew, was that he needed to kiss her, or he would die._

_He cupped her face in his hands and inches his way towards her. When their lips met, it felt so good. It was ecstasy, magical, enchanting, captivating. Electricity was flowing through his bloodstream._

_His arms made their way towards her hips, trying to get their bodies closer. He was desperate for contact. She wrapped her arms around his neck, stringing her fingers through his soft hair._

_Logan groaned. __It was as if they couldn't get enough of each other. She was his oxygen and if he pulled away from her, he would suffocate. Logan's body, soul, and heart ached for her. His mind was only registering one thing. _

_Jo, Jo, Jo._

_Logan grabbed her hips harder, h__is lips attacked hers sloppily and passionately, their teeth clashing but not caring. She gasped at his abruptness, allowing his tongue to slip in. Their tongues clashed and battled, fighting for dominance, in which Logan easily won._

_It felt good, doing something bad and not caring about the consequences._

_So good, yet so wrong._

_All he could think of was Kendall's reaction._

_'Good. Serves him right.' Logan thought._

_But Logan couldn't do it. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't._

_He pushed Jo away once more, staggering backwards from shock. "I'm sorry Jo, I can't do this."_

"_Why not! We're not doing anything wrong!" She exclaimed, tears slipping from her caramel brown eyes._

_Damn it, Logan hated it when girls cried. He could never say the right thing. This was probably going to be one of those moments._

"_I just can't." Logan whispered. He then took off, leaving a confused crying girl behind._

'_Damn it Kendall, you're ruining everything' he thought as he ran down the stairs._


	5. Chapter 5

Fifth Chapter of _**Dirty Little Secret**_!

To everyone else who reads my story, thank you. It brightens up my mood seeing the reviews/favorite story/story alerts. Seriously, I grin like an idiot :D

I love reading your reviews, I really do. Some of them make me giggle like a schoolgirl, especially the ones that hate on Kendall :P

*I wrote a one-time a while ago, called _**He Would Be Here By Now**_. Please read it and review on how you guys like it. It was completely on whim and not planned at all, which is completely unlike me. For most of my stories, I at least plan the major plot points of the chapter, for _**He Would Be Here By Now**_ I just sat down and wrote. I'm somewhat proud of it, so tell me what you think. I must warn you though, it is completely unedited. I just posted it without a second thought.

* * *

><p>Some of you have PMed about questions on the story. Let us answer them shall we?<p>

_Why Camille and Kendall? _Why not? On the show, they always show how Camille and Logan are on and off. It always bothers me. In my perspective, Kendall and Camille should be together because he can handle her quirkiness, and they have a cute height difference.

_How did you come up with this idea? _All of this is based off Ms. LaurenNicole's challenge, so everyone should be thanking her. Usually, I wouldn't do this idea for a story. In her profile picture, Kendall is holding a little girl in his arms (This is also another reason why I chose Camille. The little girl is a brunette, and there isn't many girls, who are main characters/supporting characters, with brown hair) with Logan by his side. I started to think, what if Kendall had a daughter. At first, this was going to be a slash, but then I thought, there are so many slash stories like this, so why not make it interesting? In many stories, we see the four best buds that never stop being best buds. Now how often do you see that happening in real life? Not so often. Sometimes, not intentionally, we betray our friends. To me it was always more interesting to read a fanfic that had an inner conflict between our favorite foursome. Therefore, I thought, hey! What if one of them betrayed the other? Boom. Idea is born.

_Why Kendall betraying Logan? _In most of the stories I read, Kendall is always the leader that everyone looks up to. There's nothing wrong with that, trust me, I love Kendall ;) but it's somewhat overrated now. At first I was going to write a James betrays Logan story but that already has been overdone, and in the show he does too, so no. Moreover, Carlos is too sweet! He wouldn't think of it because he's so innocent. Kendall is the one everyone looks up to, the one everyone thinks wouldn't do bad. Well, he's human he makes mistakes. Sometimes we forget that, which is why I made him betray Logan, and not the other guys.

_Do you hate Logan? _NO! I don't hate Logan. He's a sweetie.

_So why is Logan being betrayed? _Logan is the only one with a (somewhat) steady girlfriend on the show other than Kendall, and I already got rid of Jo. Moreover, let's face it, we all revel in Logie angst XD

_Where do you get your inspiration? _For each chapter it's different. It can be based off real life experience, or I see a certain picture and get a certain feel/vibe from it. I also listen to some songs to get me into the mood, it depends on each story and chapter. For this one we can all guess that I listen to some pretty heartbreaking and depressing songs. :P

Any more questions? Nope, I think I covered them all. If you guys have questions PM about it!

* * *

><p>Story based off Ms. LaurenNicole's challenge<p>

"Study my icon. Think about the many ways this girl is in Kendall's arm. The reality of things.

Who is the little girl? Where did she come from?"

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Camille/Kendall, hints of Brunette Jennifer/Carlos, Curly Jennifer/James, Blonde Jennifer/Dak Zevon. Katie/Kyle, Jo/Logan and Camille/Logan

Warning: *This is a Future Fiction and there are flashbacks (in _italics_) and swearing, and a bit of '_suggested themes_'.

A/N: Forwarding this to a month later. You'll see why ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. No matter how bad I want it.

* * *

><p><em>A month had passed since Jo and Logan's accidental kiss, and Logan was growing exasperated by the minute. <em>

_Today was the day._

_The Wedding._

_The day where Kendall and Camille would forever be linked to one another in a million and so ways that were so intimate Logan couldn't even understand._

_The day where he would stand and watch the girl he was (kind of) in love with marry another man._

_His best friend._

_As soon as the tabloids got whiff of the engagement, Kendall and Camille had to give a small interview at Rocque Records. It was disgustingly cute. Snuggling, cuddling, small kisses here and there, whispering secrets and sweet nothings in each other's ear for only them to know and for the rest of the world to wonder._

_What made it even more disgusting was that it wasn't fake. It was real. It was cute._

_So disgustingly cute._

_Moreover, Logan had to sit, watch it all, act like nothing ever happened, and that he was completely fine with it._

_What a lie._

_After the interview occurred, Kendall and Camille (finally) settled on a date, meaning the record company rushed in the planning, not wanting to have Camille's pregnancy found out before the wedding transpired._

_Flowers, photographers, dresses, tuxedos, china, location. _

_Camille had spent extra time on the bouquets. Planning each one with a special arrangement. Using a mix of freesias, daisies, and roses she made to include each color. Red: romance and love, yellow: friendship and joy, pink: love, gratitude, and appreciation, __white: purity, innocence, sympathy, spirituality, orange: desire, enthusiasm and passion, and lavender: enchantment, majesty, love at first sight__**. **_

_Logan had no idea so much effort and planning went in a wedding._

_The wedding was at a beautiful spot. On a beach at sunset, the light illuminating the sky with glows of oranges, yellows, and pinks. _

_Separate tents had been set up for the bride and groom to dress and get settled. The tents were a vibrant red and tan, giving the feeling of passion and love. Inside twinkling, lights were hung across each wall, giving the atmosphere of hopeless romance. _

_Outside the benches were set on the white sand, in front of where Logan's heart would forever be broken as soon as they said 'I do'. _

_The arch._

_It was made of vivacious flowers; roses, poinsettias, peonies, freesias, carnations. The arch was a picturesque sight with the navy blue waves crashing into the shore, and the sun on the horizon enlightening with its intense colors._

_Overall, it was a beautiful sight._

_What would make it even better was if it was Camille's and his wedding._

_It should have been theirs. They should have been marrying. It should have been his child._

_One part of him was relieved that he wouldn't become a father at eighteen. The other part desperately wished it were him._

_How screwed up was that?_

_Logan played with the buttons on his cuff to distract himself. A large hand slammed down on his shoulder, making his jump at least three feet into the air._

"_Sorry." James apologized._

"_It's okay."_

_An awkward pause followed. Both James and Logan shuffled around, not knowing what to do._

"_So . . ." James coughed._

_Logan quirked an eyebrow, "Yes?"_

"_How do you feel about all of . . . this?" James asked, gesturing towards the tents and arch._

_Logan shrugged, "Honestly? I don't know. It's more of a numbing feeling."_

_James nodded, not knowing exactly what he meant. "Right . . . so you're going to be okay during the ceremony?"_

"_Should be."_

_James coughed once more, "Well let's take a walk Logan." With that, he grabbed Logan by his arm, not waiting for a reply, and walked towards the rocks by the ocean._

_Once James deemed they were far away enough, they sat on the rocks._

"_What's up" Logan asked._

_James chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair, "Well, I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't do anything stupid."_

_He snorted, "I promise I won't ruin Camille and Kendall's happy day."_

"_Logan. . . That's not wha-"_

"_Forget it." Logan scoffed, turning around and walking off._

_James stood dumbfounded. "What the hell did I just do?" He thought aloud._

* * *

><p><em>Inside the grooms tent Kendall was . . . relatively calm.<em>

_Carlos on the other hand wasn't._

"_What if I trip? God, I'm going to look like a goof!" He stuttered._

_Kendall patted him lightly on the back, "You won't trip, and you'll be fine. Besides you're walking with Jennifer, she won't let you trip with her."_

_Carlos glared lightly at him, "You say that as if she's a completely evil person."_

_Kendall stayed silent, and Carlos breathed out a sigh, "I know she's a part of their trio, but when we were at prom, she was a completely different person. She was sweet and honest, and funny. She has a soul you know?"_

"_She seems nice when she's not with them."_

"_And she is! This is why I'm nervous! It's cause of her!" Carlos exclaimed._

"_Wait . . . so now you're going after her?" Kendall clarified._

_Carlos nodded, "Only her. I think it could be something more. Something special. Like what you and Camille have."_

_Kendall tossed his arm around Carlos's shoulders and steered him towards the girl's tent."Well now, here's your chance. Grab it and go." With that tidbit of advice, Kendall pushed him slightly in the entryway and ran off._

_Carlos was about to yell at Kendall until a voice caught his attention. "Carlos?"_

_He whipped his head towards Jennifer. "Thanks a lot Kendall." He muttered under his breath. Carlos made a silent prayer towards God. 'Please don't let me mess this up' he begged._

_Carlos looked straight into Jennifer's cinnamon brown eyes, a smile on his face as soon as he saw those hypnotizing orbs. "Walk with me?" He asked, offering a hand._

_She wordlessly took him up on his offer, placing a delicate hand in his, letting him guide her towards the shore._

* * *

><p><em>As they reached the shore, Carlos took a deep breath, gathering all of his courage.<em>

"_What do you think of this?" He asked._

"_Camille and Kendall getting married?"_

_He nodded and she continued. "I'm actually really happy for them. They're adorable, and in love. It's magical seeing them together. Camille and Kendall are those lucky two who find their true loves. I'm jealous."_

"_Why are you jealous?" He asked, confusion evident in his voice._

"_I want the happy ending._ _I'm tired of waiting around for my happy ending and for my Prince Charming. I want what they have. I want that. I want the fairytale ending. I want my Prince Charming. Why can't I have that?" She whispered, tears forming in the corners of her eyes._

_It broke Carlos's heart to see her like this. He wanted to give her a big hug, kiss her on the lips, and whisper sweet-nothings into her ear. To tell her that he would be her prince charming, and that he would never hurt her._

_He gently tucked a lone strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up, confusion and excitement palpable in her eyes._

_How he loved her eyes._

"_If you'd let me, I would love to be your Prince Charming." He whispered._

"_Carlos-"_

"_I mean it Jennifer. I'll treat you like a princess every day. The way you're supposed to be treated. I'll get you flowers, compliment you, tell you you're beautiful, hug you, kiss you, comfort you, and be by your side. I'll never let you go. You deserve it. Let me be your Prince."_

_He tenderly cupped her face in his hands, and inched his way down towards her lips. It was a gentle kiss, but when their lips met; fireworks._

_The pulled apart, their foreheads resting on one another. "Okay." She whispered, a grin on her face._

_Carlos smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the temple before slipping his arm around her waist, guiding her towards the tents._

* * *

><p><em>As Logan entered the tent, he saw Kendall rubbing his arm anxiously.<em>

"_Nervous?" He asked._

_Kendall chuckled nervously, "Just a bit." This was probably the longest conversation he and Logan had without Logan storming off somewhere._

_All of a sudden, something snaps in Logan. He doesn't know where it came from but all he can focus on now is the rage coursing through his blood._

_"You never apologized," Logan says as he glares at Kendall. "You ruined the best thing that ever happened to me and you never fucking apologized."_

_Kendall knew this was coming. He had been trying to avoid it, but in the end, it blew up in his face._

_This whole situation blew up in his face._

_"I didn't ruin anything," Kendall replies softly. "You didn't have to break up with her."_

_Logan looks down at his feet and laughs nervously. "You didn't see her face when you were kissing her, did you?"_

_That should have made Kendall happy, knowing the love of his life loves him back and is completely genuine about her feelings, but it slightly upsets him, knowing how bad he hurt Logan._

"_Logan I'm so-"_

"_Forget it." Logan interrupts, not wanting any half-assed apologies. He knows they're sorry, but what good does it do? Their sorry, but they're still in love. The apology doesn't do anything._

_Logan looks down, not wanting to see the joy on Kendall's face. All it would do is kill him inside, knowing how happy they'll be together._

"_Let's just get on with the wedding." He whispers, as he walks out._

* * *

><p><em>The ceremony was a beautiful one.<em>

_Each girl looked stunning in their ivory white dresses, and every man looked handsome, in their white tuxedos._

_First, Kendall came out, look dashing as always. Then, James with Jo, as best man and the maid of honor, a small smile on their faces. Next was Logan and Curly Jennifer, both of them acting like they enjoyed one another company, Carlos and Jennifer trailed behind them an obvious grin on their faces (and then a pout when they had to split apart). Following from behind them was Stephanie King and Guitar Dude, blonde Jennifer with Dak Zevon. Katie and Kyle trailing right behind._

_Now it was time._

_The big finale._

_Logan sighed, it was now or never. He turned his head towards the beginning of the aisle. Mentally he gasped, but in his subconscious, he heard Kendall gasp audibly._

_There stood Camille._

_She was stunning. Her natural curls were pinned up, a small white gardenia tucked behind her ear. Her makeup was light, striking everyone with her natural beauty. Her dress was ivory, hugging her upper torso but flowing downward._

_To Kendall, she was the ultimate definition of perfection._

_Arm in arm with her father, she slowly made her way towards the alter._

_As her father let her go, and Kendall and Camille joined hands, Logan died a bit._

_With each word of their vows, he died even more._

_Every word Kendall had spoken next, Logan died more._

"_I, Kendall Donald Knight, take you, Camille Denise Roberts, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, Kendall Donald Knight, take you, Camille Denise Roberts, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."_

_When Camille repeated the same thing, Logan died more._

"_I, Camille Denise Roberts, take you, Kendall Donald Knight, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, Camille Denise Roberts, take you, Kendall Donald Knight, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."_

_When they had said 'I do' Logan died a bit more._

_When the minister announced, "You may kiss the bride." Logan died, desperately clinging on to the small little pieces he had left._

_They kissed and eventually broke apart. Logan clung on to the last piece with all his strength._

_When the minister announced, "I now pronounce Mr. and Mrs. Kendall Knight." Logan died._

_He completely died._

_The last piece was forever shattered._

'_I now pronounce Mr. and Mrs. Kendall Knight' echoed in Logan's mind. Knight, not Mitchell. Knight._

_Logan Mitchell now pronounces him and his heart forever shattered._


	6. Chapter 6

Sixth Chapter of _**Dirty Little Secret**_!

To everyone else who reads my story, thank you. It brightens up my mood seeing the reviews/favorite story/story alerts. Seriously, I grin like an idiot :D

* * *

><p>Story based off Ms. LaurenNicole's challenge<p>

"Study my icon. Think about the many ways this girl is in Kendall's arm. The reality of things.

Who is the little girl? Where did she come from?"

Summary: It started on a rainy summer day. It being the day he betrayed Logan in the worst way possible. "A true leader faces the music even if he doesn't like the tune."

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Camille/Kendall, hints of Brunette Jennifer/Carlos, hints of Camille/Logan, and a few dashes of Jo/Logan

Warning: *This is a Future Fiction and there are flashbacks (in _italics_), swearing, and a bit of '_suggested themes_'.

A/N: I realized that it has been over two months since I last updated this. I feel TERRIBLE! By the way this chapter is meh. I don't know . . . it's just 'meh' to me. Tell me what you think!

Time Gap: Forwarding this five months into the future (Where chapter five ended.) Camille is about eight pregnant.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. No matter how bad I want it.

* * *

><p><em>Logan was always good at keeping his emotions in check. Not letting anyone pull off the mask he so desperately created. He had the need to put up a front, as if everything was okay. Logan never let his mask slip. If it did, everyone would see how broken he was. <em>

_And he wasn't going to let that happen. He came this far, he was not going to let all his hard work go down the fucking drain._

_Logan didn't let his mask slip when his dad was killed in Afghanistan during action._

_He had acted as if he was okay with jumping from city to city and state to state for his mom's career so she could support them both._

_Logan had acted like he didn't give a fuck about the constant teasing from his classmates._

_Time after time, Logan had to suck in a deep breath, put his brave game face on, and deal with the hurdles life, fate, or whatever the fuck it is, threw at him._

_But deep down inside, Logan knew he couldn't do this anymore. His mask was falling, slipping quickly. Soon, it was going to come off fully and he won't be able to put it back._

_And he knew what would happen if his mask fell off completely._

_People would surround him, choking his with their sympathy, their hurt, their questions, their pity._

_He hated that. He hated looking at their faces of pity and sympathy. He didn't need it, and he sure as hell didn't want it._

_He couldn't handle those sad puppy eyes people made with the looks of pity. It made him feel as if he kicked a puppy._

_And the questions! Those damn questions! He hated answering those! Logan may have been a genius but that doesn't mean he knew the answer to everything! He was only human after all._

_There was one question he hated the most._

'_Why did you put up a mask Logan? Why couldn't you let us in?'_

_Why? Why? Why?_

_Simple. He couldn't let anyone know. He needed to be strong._

_Then, they would give him the disappointed look._

_And that would only fuel his anger._

_Why the hell are the giving him that look? It's not like he's the only in the world who had a mask! Everyone had a mask, whether they realized it or not. It could be a mask of confidence when inside they were paralyzed with fear. Or a mask of happiness when they were completely miserable and wanted the pain to end. Or maybe their whole life was a façade._

_Logan knows his whole life has been a façade for the past eight months. He was faking happiness for the couple. Faking his emotions and acting like he was okay, that it didn't matter that he was in hell, suffering because of true love._

_Or that whenever he saw a boy with his dad it killed him inside because he never had that._

_Or when the class bully picked on him because he was small for his age._

_Or when someone would stand up to the bully and be friends with him, Logan would have to move because his mom needed to be closer to her job._

_His whole life was a mask. And nobody seemed to understand that if he let his mask fall, he would cripple into oblivion. He wouldn't be human, all there would be left was a shell._

_Logan didn't want that. He wanted normalcy. He wanted to be living and free!_

_But in order to do that, he needed the mask._

_But no one understood that. So in their eyes, Logan was weak for putting up a mask, and that he was the only one in the world that had a mask._

_Idiots. They didn't comprehend the simple idea._

_He was strong because of the damn mask._

_But the mask was slipping, falling, breaking into a million pieces and crumbling into debris and ashes._

_Just like his heart._

_Logan snorted. He always thought people were lunatics when they said you could die from a broken heart._

_He didn't know they were serious._

_Or when the cheesy novels said that sometimes the person you care for the most can hurt you the most._

_Damn it. The very thought of it made him livid._

_Logan never thought that one of the few people he could trust would steal that happiness. Never did he imagine that his best friend would betray him._

_Fuck. Logan shut his eyes closed, his face morphing into a grimace._

_He was going to snap._

_Well, that was a lie._

_He was already snapping. Piece by piece._

_Logan plugged his nose, forcing himself to take deep breaths. He couldn't do this. Not here. Not in front of everybody._

_Logan sighed. He slowly opened his eyes, taking in the scene playing out in front of him._

_Gustavo's mansion was filled to the brim with people. All of them mingling, jumping from one celebrity to the next, chatting away without a care, champagnes glasses clicking away, laughter filling the air._

_It made Logan sick for two reasons._

_One, all of these celebrities didn't give a damn and were here for purely selfish reasons and good publicity. Logan figured up until now, these people had no fucking clue who Big Time Rush was, nor did they give a damn._

_And two? It was Camille baby shower._

_A small giggle separated itself away from the obnoxious laughs. Well, speak of the devil._

_Logan turned his head towards the left. His eyes spotted her immediately, raking in the sight of her._

_There, Camille sat in her throne, surrounded by countless of females, 'oooing' and 'awing' over each gift._

_She looked beautiful._

_Her hair was in its natural sleek curls. Her makeup was like what she had at the wedding, light and compelling._

_But what really captured Logan was her dress._

_Camille looked stunning in her red dress. The dress was sleeveless and was made of silk. It had a sweetheart neckline the clung tightly on her breasts but flowed elegantly down afterwards, allowing the baby bump to be free and not constricted by such a tight material._

_The baby. Logan sighed. Camille's due date was inching closer and closer and soon the impending ball of joy would be here._

_Logan growled. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a waiter making his way towards him with a platter stocked with champagne glasses._

_Perfect._

_Logan halted the waiter, and snatched a glass of champagne. He took one look at the waiter and then closed his eyes, drowning the champagne._

_Once finished, Logan licked his lips. Ignoring the burning sensation in the back of his throat he quickly snatched another glass, this time taking a smaller sip._

_He felt the gaze of the waiter on him and quickly snapped his head towards him. "What?" Logan snapped. The waiter hastily dropped his gaze and returned to the kitchens._

_Logan smirked and made his way towards the balcony. Once there, he quickly shut the door, leaving it faintly ajar._

_He leaned against the railing. His eyes took in the skyline of the glamorous city of Los Angeles._

_For a city filled with ugly people (figuratively of course. Logan wasn't blind. Or stupid), LA was beautiful. Especially now, when the sun was setting and illuminating the sky with a various amount of colors._

_Logan once more took a sip of his champagne._

_And then another._

_And another._

_And another until he was completely out._

_Logan frowned at the sight of the empty glass. He swiftly turned towards the door, opened it, and stepped inside. Eyes raked across the room searching for a waiter. Spotting one a few feet away from him, Logan signaled the man._

_The waiter instantly grasped the concept of the signal and made his way towards Logan. When he arrived, Logan quickly snatched another glass._

_With that, Logan made his way towards the balcony once more and shut the door behind him, leaving it, once, again, slightly ajar._

_Leaning, once again, against the railing, Logan took a slip, and sighed in content._

_The door behind him made a slight squeaking sound, indicating someone had opened._

_Logan turned his head slightly, getting a good look at the intruding figure. Turning his head back towards the skyline he asked, "What are you doing here Jo?"_

_Jo closed the door behind her and made her way towards him. She wrapped her arms around herself, fighting off the chill of the night. "It doesn't help."_

_He took a pause from his drink to stare at her. "And how do you know?"_

_She sighed, "Because I've been there."_

"_Oh?"_

_Jo turns towards him, silent anger coloring her voice, "Alcohol doesn't do anything! It doesn't change anything!"_

_Logan looks down at the nearly empty drink. "It takes away the pain." He says silently._

_She grabs the drink away from him, "No it doesn't. The pain is hidden by your intoxication. It only goes away for a while, and then it all comes crashing down."_

_She then swiftly turns toward the railing, and elegantly drops the glass. They watch together, the glass hurling towards the ground, awaiting it's destruction. A small clash indicates the death."_

_Logan turns towards her livid. "What the hell was that for?"_

_Jo glares at him. "That was for your own good."_

_While she's staring (glaring) at him she couldn't help but notice how dashing he looks in his suit and tie._

"_It wasn't as if I was drunk!" He retorts._

_She shakes her head. "No, but it would have taken one more glass before you were."_

_And with that Jo makes her way towards the door. She's about to step in to the mansion before she turns towards Logan. She bites her lip, not knowing of she should say anything or not. Going against her judgment, Jo says, "I know it hurts. But it will get better."_

_A silence passes between them. Figuring that he won't say anything back, Jo sighs and steps inside. Once in, she closes the door, leaving it slightly ajar._

_Logan turns his head back towards the door. He snorts and looks back down to the smashed glass of champagne. He wasn't drunk!_

_But damn. Just thinking of one made him itch with want. How he oh so badly wanted another drink._

_Something snapped Logan back to reality. No, he couldn't do this. He is not going to become an alcoholic. He has more willpower than that._

_Logan sighs. At this point though, he isn't sure anymore._

* * *

><p><em>It's almost twelve when the part finally dies down. Logan lets out a sigh of relief that he didn't know he was holding in.<em>

_Everywhere he sees people are cleaning up. Mama K, Katie, The Jennifers, Carlos, James, Jo, Gustavo, Kelly, Kendall. Figuring he should too, Logan starts picking up random plastic glasses spewed across the floor._

_Carlos comes up to him and throws an arm around his shoulder. "Looks like a wild party stampeded through. Like the first one we had when we came to the Palmwoods!"_

_Logan grins at the memory, "It sure does."_

_Carlos may have not done it intentionally, but Logan can always count on him to cheer him up._

* * *

><p><em>It's about one in the morning when they're finally done cleaning up. Exhaustion taking over him, Logan miraculously makes it towards the couch where everyone sits.<em>

_Sitting besides Jennifer (the blonde) on the floor, he lets out a sigh of exhaustion and flutters his eyes shut._

"_Tired?" She teasingly says._

_He opens one eye, before closing it again. "Definitely."_

_A grunt brings Logan and everyone out of their out-of-body experience._

_Jo quirks an eyebrow, "Camille?"_

_Logan looks up at Camille and sees her grabbing the armrest with extreme force, with her other hand resting on her bump._

"_You guys?" Camille whimpers looking down at the bump._

"_Did you're water break?" Kendall asks worryingly._

_Camille bites her bottom lip in response. "I think so. Or maybe it isn't? I mean sometimes this baby moves around and makes me feel like I need to go to the bathroom in a minute."_

_Logan shakes his head, "It's not a urine smell. And from the grunt I'm guessing you're having contractions."_

_Camille nods as another wave of pain hits her._

_Kendall quickly scoops her up bridal style. "We need to get to the hospital."_

"_How can the baby come so quickly? She's only eight months!' Carlos asks in panic._

"_Babies come early all the time Carlos." Logan gently reminds Carlos. He places a hand on his shoulders, hoping to calm him down._

"_Will anything happen to the baby?"_

_Logan bites his lip, slightly hesitant before answering. "I don't know Carlos."_


End file.
